Yesterday morning, the power was out when it was time to
get ready for work. Ugh! Fortunately, we
had hot water for a shower, but there wasn’t enough light at the bathroom
mirror for me to put on my makeup in the usual spot.
I ended up sitting on the kitchen floor in front of the
French doors onto the deck. As I was
applying foundation with one hand and holding a mirror with the other, I
remembered the lighted makeup mirror I used in my college dorm room. The
morning light coming through the doors reminded me of the “Daylight” setting on
that old mirror. I also remembered that
my dorm room had windows on three sides. Why hadn’t I used the natural light
from the windows all those years ago rather than the simulated light of the
makeup mirror?
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| Remember these? |
Well first of all, there’s convenience. As I was reminded
this morning, my task would have been easier with two hands and a stationary
mirror. And with my focus fixed on a
makeup mirror, there would have been fewer things to distract me from getting
the job done. Then, there’s the little
matter of actual sunlight showing more imperfections than I really want to face
first thing in the morning!
Of course the point of this entry is not to make you feel
sorry for me (or my coworkers) that my power was out for 3 hours and I had to
go to work without washing my hair since I couldn’t use the hair dryer.
While I was getting ready I was thinking about how the
sunlight, created by God, is infinitely superior to anything we can create to
emulate it.
It’s so much more convenient for me to compare myself to
other people than to compare myself to the standard God set and Jesus
exemplified for me. A lot of the time I
look pretty good compared to my fellow humans.
I don’t murder or steal or kidnap people. I don’t shoot random
individuals in a mall or theater. I try
to be nice to people, to help them, to occasionally make a donation. I know there are those who are better at it
than I am, but I can generally avoid comparing myself to them.
What is not so convenient is holding myself up to the
light of scripture. I don’t compare so
favorably to the Biblical requirements to “pray without ceasing,” “be kind to
one another,” “judge not,” “give thanks in everything,” “love my enemies,” “be
slow to anger,” “take up my cross,” “turn the other cheek,” and countless other
exhortations I know but choose to ignore, soften, or re-interpret.
Also, as I was putting on makeup overlooking the deck, I
kept seeing the birds at the feeders. In
my bathroom, with the large window etched (for obvious reasons), I can’t see
what’s going on outside. I can complete my morning tasks with minimal
distractions from the outside world. I
can focus on my agenda, my plans, my little world, and ignore the activities, dreams
and tragedies going on around me. Don’t
get me wrong. I try to be a good wife,
friend, daughter, sister, aunt, church member, and coworker. I just prefer, in general, to pass over the
extremes and things that require too much of me, things that are distractions
to the plans I have made for the day, for my life.
Sometimes I can fool those around me into thinking I have
it all together. I can say the right
words, do the right things, look organized, listen sympathetically.
But God’s light sees my heart. If I do all the right
things for selfish reasons, they don’t benefit me in eternity. God doesn’t count what I do in my own
strength as righteousness. He counts my faith in Christ as righteousness. And that faith, and my knowledge of the
unbelievable grace and mercy He has shown me in spite of my incredible
shortcomings, should motivate me to obey Him and to forgive others. He’d rather have my obedience than my
self-determined good deeds. That’s what
is meant by, “to obey is better than sacrifice.”
I want to be better about choosing to look at myself by
God’s light rather than by light man created. Oftentimes God’s light is not
very flattering; it shows my selfishness, fears, and flaws. But it’s also the only source of truth here
on earth. It holds all the answers to
the questions I have. It holds
everything I need.
